Help! I'm Melting in Bangkok!!

Bangkok, Thailand (May 24-28)

Quick question! What is a sure fire indicator that one has landed in Southeast Asia in the summertime?!?

The layers of sweat which instantaneously accumulate all over your body literally the moment you step outside! (Psst! And the ubiquitious presence of "Lady Boys")

I mean I feel as if I am seriously suffering from some sort of bodily affliction which only affects my sweat glands. Adding to my level of physical distress is the number of insect bites covering my body (mosquitoes and...something else...unseen...and yet horribly bloodthirsty...BED BUGS!!) which can be found in all the usual suspect places (lower limbs and arms) as well as a few unmentionable places difficult to see, let alone scratch without drawing attention from all males in my proximity.

Arriving in Bangkok in late May, which is the beginning of Thailand's sweltering & sticky summer rainy season, shook me by surprise. We're talking a heavy duty dose of culture shock during the first 24 hours which has subsequently waned, but only slightly, as the days have passed. What didn't help matters was the fact that I had definitely picked up some sort of infection during those final days in South Africa which left me feeling poorly throughout my flights from Cape Town - Johannesburg - Bangkok. My head felt heavier than John Merrick's, the "Elephant Man," and had me contemplating the merits of a lobotomy or, as a last resort mind you, decapitation. Instead of those rather drastic remedies, I sensibly opted to visit the Bangkok Christian Hospital, which was literally 2 minutes walking distance from the hostel I had booked (the Smile Society) in the business/financial district of Silom in Bangkok. The kind lady at the hospital reception, once I had explained my symptoms, directed me to the Ear, Nose & Throat Dept. on the 2nd floor. Once I had located it, I registered as a patient with them and was politely asked to take a seat until the doctor was ready to see me. Okay dokey, sniff, cough, kerchew! While I was waiting, a nurse came and took my blood pressure/temperature (both normal) and weighed my head me (60 kg). After waiting for a measly 10 minutes, I was ushered into the doctor's office who took a quick look up my nostrils, as well as in my throat and ears. Verdict? A moderate bacterial infection in the nose/throat and heavy wax buildup in the ears. In addition to being prescribed antibiotics, the doctor did me the incredible favor of de-waxing my ears. Bless you, doctor and all your (un)born children! The grand total for my visit + meds was approximately $60, far below what I would have paid anywhere in the US, eh?


As this was my second visit to Bangkok, I was not in a big hurry to visit the major touristic stops again. Instead, I spent the first two days taking care of business and prepping for the next couple of stages of my travels. Once I had dealt with my medical needs, I set off in search of a book store that sold English language travel guides for the region. There was fortunately one (Asia Books) located only a few streets down from my hostel and after a few wrong turns, I managed to find it and purchased the Lonely Planet's Shoestring Guide to Southeast Asia. That evening I spent reading my new guidebook, planning my trip southwards to Thailand's Andaman Coast (Phuket, Koh Phi Phi & Krabi) and searching online for information on visiting Myamar. My research indicated that I needed to obtain a tourist visa ASAP while still in Bangkok seeing that I planned on hightailing it to the islands/beaches after the weekend, so I decided to exclusively dedicate Day 2 to procuring my Myamar visa.


I had figured out the location of Myamar's embassy the night previously and how to get there using public transport. Online advice recommended getting to the embassy early so I arrived there at about 9:30. Luckily, the visa section wasn't all that busy and I managed to fill in all the necessary paperwork for requesting an expedited visa within 30 minutes. After paying just over 1200 Bahts ($40) for same-day service, I was instructed to return at 3:30 that same afternoon to collect my passport/visa. Cool beans! The only worry was whether or not I would actually be granted a visa as I had read online about how the Myamar embassy thoroughly checks people on the Internet before granting visas and has been known to deny entry to anyone suspected of being a journalist, photographer or filmmaker. Gulp. Would an English teacher with a travel/photography blog be considered a potential troublemaker?? Perhaps. I duly returned at the time suggested and, thankfully, was deemed non-dangerous to the military regime which has had pretty much a stranglehold on the country since taking power back in 1962 (when it was still known as BURMA). Hurray! To seal the deal (with a chaste kiss), I purchased a round-trip ticket on Air Asia that night to Yangon (formerly Rangoon), the capital city, departing on June 10. Mission Myamar accomplished!


By Day 3 I was more than ready to join Bangkok's touristic hordes. Upon reviewing all the major attractions that I had seen during my first visit, I decided that a return to the Grand Palace (Home to the Emerald Jade Buddha and miniature replica of Angor Watt) as well as the temple Wat Pho (final resting place for a massive reclining Buddha with Mother-of-Pearly White Feet) were in order. Both were just as remarkable to behold the second time around, but a word of warning to those planning to visit the palace...dress conservatively!!! You would think a woman who had just left an Islamic country after 8 years would have figured out how-to-dress respectfully, but apparently loose-fitting Capri pants are OUT! As I was entering the compound, the Clothing Police shouted harshly at me, "No shorts!!" How rude, eh? A simple, "Excuse me Ma'am, but you need to wear long pants and can borrow some over there (while pointing at the building just a few feet away which lends clothing to all the tourists in need of covering bare skin)" would have been appreciated. And let me tell you, walking around with another layer of material over my capris in that relentless heat & humidity was an absolute sweaty ordeal! But I still wouldn't have minded so much if not for the fact that I spotted a number of women walking around with skirt hemlines above the knee (That is what we call a "mini skirt" ffolks!). Moving on...


After a day full of Buddha-bedecked temples, I was craving something a tad different... more estrogen-friendly...like...SHOPPING! Bangkok is reknown for its amazing markets and the Grandaddy of them all is the Chatuchak Weekend Market, located across the road from the last-stop BTS station, Mo Chit. This market BLEW MY MIND, y'all! It is literally packed to the rafters with "life, the universe, and everything" but Tom Cruise's balls the kitchen sink for sale at rock-bottom prices. I was looking to buy another pair of longish shorts (not Capris) and got lost in the aisles upon aisles of vendors selling every-color-of-the-rainbow converse sneakers, baggy skinny flared boot-cut blue jeans and the funniest t-shirts you will ever find anywhere (outside of New York City). I ended up buying a pair of loose brown cotton shorts and a t-shirt which said the following:

"If YouTube My Space, I'll Google your Yahoo!"

Get it? Hee hee...


And the food?! Just shut up and sit down for a feast of flavors so mouth watering...so exotically aromatic...soooooo....damn.....GOOD! I had some tofu/veggie soup that had me blowing my nose after every few spoonfuls due to how spicy it was and it only cost me just over a buck! Course one could also chow down on fried crickets or frogs at Chatuchak if one had a hankering...

The market also has a live animal section (but really it is mostly just fish), which I wandered around for a while with my eyes nearly popping out of my skull due to the freaky variety of crossbreeds being sold, the most popular mutant being "Bubbleheads." I had hoped to see some venomous snakes for sale, but alas, the weirdest critter I saw there was a male peacock.

A final thing worth mentioning, if only due to its disquieting effect upon many passersby, was the presence of blind buskers singing bad karaoke for a few measly but precious Baht. Until then, I had never actually seen a singing blind beggar, but at Chatuchak, they are the busking norm!

Once I had had enough of the crowds at Chatuchak, I hopped back on the BTK (skytrain) and took it to the end station, "National Stadium," which had just recently hosted a Lady GaGa concert. Just outside of this station is the 8-storey Mahboonkrong Shopping Center ("MBK" for short), which apparently is THE place to shop for mobile phones. I went there in search of memory cards for my camera and was absolutely DELIGHTED to buy two 32gb cards for only about $60! Such a deal! Once I had bought and paid for these cards, I made my way to the mobile phone section, where i enquired about the price of an (unlocked) iPhone 4. It sounded like a good price ($575 for 16gb) but I decided to do a little research online once back at my hostel. After checking eBay, it seemed that Bangkok was actually offering a pretty sweet deal- $100 cheaper in fact! So the following day, I headed back to the MBK and bought myself a brand new sexy 16gb iPhone 4!! At long, long last my MAC conversion is complete...

Enough of banging around Bangkok...I'm off to the beaches of the Andaman Coast!