We're (NOT) Gonna Need a Bigger Boat!

BAZ BUSSING (Stop #1): Mossel Bay, South Africa (April 12-16)

Before I begin recounting my toothy exploits in Mossel Bay, I would like to offer a few words of explanation on what precisely it means to be "Baz Bussing." Baz Bus is an exclusive South African backpacking hop on/off bus service which allows backpackers, like yours truly, to travel the length of the country conveniently, safely, and fairly cheaply. One can buy tickets for the bus for a limited time period or opt for an open-ended ticket like I did which permits me to travel from Cape Town to Johannesburg (one way), taking my sweet ass time in the process. My flexi-pass ticket also includes a few tours, such as the Cape Peninsula Tour I described in a previous blog entry. One simply has to book a seat on the bus a couple of days in advance but that is NOT a problem for someone as organized anal as me, ha ha. I definitely think that it is an incredible service and hope that other countries hop on the Baz bandwagon.

My first Baz Bus destination along the Garden Route was Mossel Bay, chosen specifically for its Great White Shark cage diving opportunities. You see it happens to be one of the supposedly "Hot Spots to Spot" (Try to say that 3 times quickly without sounding like a slurring drunk!) these magnificent creatures. There is only one company in town which offers cage diving, Great White Africa, but they have a good reputation, according to my Rough Guide, so I booked a dive on their boat for Friday the 13th...dun dun dun (cue ominous music). Damn, I should have realized that I was tempting Poseidon, Greek God of the Sea, by choosing such a day...

The weather forecast for that day was 100% sunny, but apparently the appearance of the sun is NOT a guarantee that sharks will cooperate and show up for "the show." They frankly don't give a damn about blue skies and suntanning opportunities. For them, it is ALL about the happy meal and apparently we didn't have a menu which included the right sort of Shark McNuggets. Nuts! Anyway...

I showed up at Great White Africa's office at 9:30 where we watched an introductory video which showed us what to expect while on the boat. There were 11 shark bait wanna-be's on board that day, plus 2 marine biology students from the UK along for the educational ride. As far as I could muster, I was the only actual Great White Shark Groupie present, as the others did not display nearly as much unbridled enthusiasm for what we were about to do. We set sail at about 10:30 heading for Seal Island, which is a small rocky island close to Mossel Bay that attracts a great number of seals which, in turn, attract the Great Whites.

There was a fairly heavy swell that day which caused a number of those with a weaker stomach to offer up the contents of their stomachs over the side of the boat. I unfortunately witnessed this upchucking peripherally (One should never look directly at another person while they are vomiting, don't cha think?!), but once again managed to keep myself from joining the vomiting brigade. But boy oh boy was I tempted!

The first couple of hours were uneventful...unless one counts upchucking as a noteworthy event? But then FINALLY!! A great white showed up! Tah dah!


...And then promptly proceeded to swim away without coming anywhere close to the tasty tuna bait dangling near the boat...

Damn, why do you have to play so hard-to-get, girl fish?! I mean this shark (and the next few sharks that appeared) made Amish girls look like sluts! But these sharks simply refused to approach the boat! Hmpf. Eventually ONE shark came along which deemed us worthy of a slightly closer look, so 6 of us quickly jumped into the cage and prayed to catch a glimpse of Mr. Jaws.

Submerging myself in an actual shark cage was slightly off-putting at first due to the fact that I was a tad too short to stand comfortably upright and had to balance on my tiptoes in order to keep my head above water. Did I mention that we were not actually "diving" with full scuba gear, but merely a mask and wet suit? The cage was at the surface so we were meant to stand in the cage and then hold our breath and dunk under the water when a shark came close. Unfortunately, due to the continuous onslaught of waves, I kept losing my balance in the cage so that my feet would slip from where they were tenuously perched. I fearfully imagined that my toes were slipping between the bars of the cage, making them a tasty target for any not-so-shy sharks in the viscinity. No such luck, ha ha! Every time we were told to get ready and dunk our heads for a possible glimpse of an approaching shark, all I saw under the waves was....NADA. Double nuts. On top of the inexplicable and frustrating shyness of the sharks, the visibility was only about 3 meters tops, which was another strike against us. We stayed in the cage for at least 30 minutes without seeing squat, so, shivering like a shaved camel lost somewhere in the Arctic Circle, I climbed out of the cage and sat on the boat wallowing in a misery born of 35 years of anticipation come to naught.

But you know what? Up until returning to the office of Great White Africa, I was actually satisfied with the company. Clearly, it is impossible for them to guarantee a successful viewing experience as none of the sharks which swim around Mossel Bay are under legal contract to make an appearance. BUT....then to be left high and dry and HUNGRY?!? That, my friends, is a deal breaker. You see I was supposed to be provided with a lunch and had very specifically discussed with them my vegetarian diet which includes an allergy to mushrooms (Sssh! I am not really allergic to them; I simply suffer from an aversion to all things fungi). Yet apparently, while on the boat, someone else had eaten the 3 unlabelled vegetarian portions that had been prepared! And the most annoying thing of all was that I was the ONLY vegetarian on board yet the ONLY one who didn't get to eat what had been specifically prepared for me! The company should have offered me a slight refund since I did not receive all that I had been guaranteed but when they didn't make such an offer, I walked out of their office in an indignant huff and vowed to take my disappointment directly to Trip Advisor. Which I will indeed do! Eventually....maybe....whatever.

By the following morning (Saturday), my mood had markedly improved so I decided to go for a long hike along the coast. There is a fantastic 13.5 km trail (the St. Blaize Trail) which hugs the coastline but it isn't a loop so I simply walked half-way and then retraced my steps all the way back to town. Simply divine. Who needs a silly old stupid great white shark anyway...sniff...boo.

Mossel Bay, in conclusion, could potentially be a great place for shark cage diving, but is absolutely without a doubt a lovely place to spend a day or two scrambling along the cliffs and staring at the waves as they crash into the rocks below.

Next up on my Baz Bussing Tour? A tame town named Wilderness....